Changing Perspectives... on Reclaiming your Authentic Self

On a warm autumn day in October 2002, as I waved goodbye to my mother at Chengdu airport, I unknowingly began a journey of farewell – not just to my family, but to the identity I had carefully built for 13 years.

Stepping onto Australian soil in Melbourne, my excitement was quickly overshadowed by the profound uncertainty of life without my mother and the immediate challenge of an unfamiliar language. My perceived grasp of English shattered at customs; the officers’ words were a blur, and my self-confidence began to wane.

In those first six months, fitting in became my sole focus. As a newly arrived student, described as “fresh off the boat”, I was keen to shed anything that marked me as different. At such a sensitive age, I was willing to give up everything just to be like my peers, starting with my birth name. Xue Ying became “Sheryl”, a convenient shield to hide behind. For the next 23 years, I worked diligently to erase my “fobby” accent and present myself as an Australian Born Chinese (ABC).

I pretended ignorance of my rich Chinese heritage and even neglected my mother tongue, losing much of my vocabulary in the process. This path of convenience, I believed, was necessary to meet societal expectations, even leading me to avoid visiting China, as it starkly reminded me of the identity I had abandoned.

This belief in my adopted ABC persona shattered profoundly in April 2025 with the passing of my grandmother. My return to China, after an 11-year absence, revealed grandparents aged far beyond my memory. The stark reality of what I had missed – the connection with my family and culture – hit me hard. By giving up my birth name, my original identity, my roots, I missed chances to connect with my family and culture. My insecurity had taken over.

Standing by my grandmother’s hospital bed in her final weeks, searching for vivid memories, I was overcome with regret for the lost time and for the true self I had left behind at Chengdu airport all those years ago.

Returning to Australia, I made a promise to myself: to leave “Sheryl” behind and embrace my authentic self. I began telling everyone, from friends to colleagues, “I am Xue Ying Chen”.

To my immense surprise, the response was overwhelmingly positive. There was no judgment, no prejudice – only a genuine willingness to learn how to pronounce my name and a readiness to support me on this journey of self discovery.

This simple act of colleagues and leaders making the effort to use my real name has been profoundly empowering; it signifies my identity is not just tolerated, but truly valued.

Such commitment to individual identity fosters an inclusive environment where everyone feels genuinely seen and respected. Less than a year into reclaiming Xue Ying, my heart feels profoundly full, affirming the MFA’s vision for an industry where everyone can truly thrive.